Squeak of the Week!

3 Nov

Glitter Boom!

[guh-li-tur Buh-oo-muh]
n. v. 

Definition:
1. Something you say after you do something really fluffin’ awesome
2. Phrase you say after you just made someone look stupid in a way that makes you look awesome!
***good substitute for “Boom…Roasted”
3. Something you say just to be super coolio…

Lena please squeak that in a sentence! Surely!

1. I just had a screaming match with a tranny over how they had vagina envy, Glitter Boom!

2. Wow, how big is your vagina bro? Glitter Boom!

3. (walks into a room, in a super sweet outfit) Glitter Boom, I’m here!

A compliment…is a compliment

13 Oct

The story goes a little like this:
I am sitting in my Nazi/Holocaust class…(a whole other story)
And I get a tap on my shoulder…causing me to turn around and see a boy sitting behind me…
Now this was not just some regular boy, this boy had an index card. And on that index card which was handed to me…along with a wink was this:

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Now, a compliment is a complement and being the somewhat nice person I think I am… I said thank you. But since who am I kidding I’m a complete asshole I had this face on…

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In my defense…

COME BRO, you are not good looking by any stretch of the imagination and your in college handing me a note saying I’m cute.

this is not kindergarten. don’t get me wrong i wish it was but it’s fucking not.

So as a result of my pure asshole-ness I proceeded to mass text a picture of this index card to everyone I know and tried —–>key word being “Tried” to chokke back my laughter.

we are who we are.

12 Oct

                                                               This is my Mother (Kim Marie) for you.

I guess you can say I get it from her…But then again what exactly is “it”. I would say it’s Honesty. And “Honesty is the best Policy.” Its true ask your mother.

Let’s be “Honest”: My mother has great tits.
(not a lie, no sarcasam included)
((no sarcasm included in no sarcasm being included))

 

Stay Tuned for more interesting facts about the most intersting Hot Mess in my life…
And I mean Hot Mess in the most sincerest of ways Mother Dear (:

Like I Said…

12 Oct

She’s a GOD DAMN sex panther.
but i am sure you don’t mind a refresher

 

 

Inner Emotion … In Facial Expression.

13 Sep

Something a little new, well new if you don’t know me.

Sometimes my idiotic dumb girl brain has a hard time saying what I mean/feel.
[hard to believe since I’m such a fucking big mouth] Soooo…
Over the years I have come up with “Boom! Inner Emotion in Facial Expression!”

How To!
One: have an EMOTION.
Two: say…“Boom! Inner Emotion in Facial Expression!”
Three: make a face that explains what you think or feel, or react to something.

And now I will give you a ridiculous example to show you what I mean:

Inner Emotion: Ew, I woke up went to class early this morning. Then I come home have to clean. My entire apartment because I am a complete slob and i let like three months worth of laundry sit around. How it gets that bad…well I just bought new clothes when I ran out. Anyways…I turn on the t.v. for some background noise and there’s a preview for 90210 WHICH AIRS TONIGHT! So I was so excited I decided to share my inner emotion with you. In FACIAL EXPRESSION of course (:

Boom!

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Squeak Of The Week

25 Aug

Boner Soup
[bow-nur soo-p]
n.

Definition:
1. When something really sucks!
2. The result of male ejaculation. (seaman)
3. The result of something super awesome outragamo happening.

Lena please squeak that in a sentence! Surley!

1. Hurricane Irene is coming so I need to get the fluff out of town. Wow! Thats really a whole bowl of boner soup, that just spilt on my silk dress.

2. Oh fluffin’ Christ! I just won a whole unicorn tea set!!! I just made a whole gallon of boner soup in my pants!

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Look its glue shaped like a duck! (:

ORIGIN: Nick Swardson

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I got it from being obsessed with the Nick Swardson stand up! He does a joke about movie trailors and fucked up movies with names that have nothing to do with them…which i obviously though was hysterical and adopted into ny everyday vocabulary!

Squeak on.

Meow…this.

22 Aug

I fucking hate cats.
I am convinced if I even pick one up I am going to get
cat scratch fever , im not sure what that is but
My theory is as follows…

cat scratch fever THEORY
1. You will get scratched.
2. You will get an infection.
3. You will break out in open sores.
4. This is starting to sound a lot like what i think a.i.d.s is!
5. You will die…a slow and painfully death.

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however
this is a cute cat.

Anyways my point is i fucking hate cats they gross me out.
BUT i loveeee to say…Kitten! & MEOW!
“awww itty meow meow!”
which makes me sound like a fucking IDIOT…Erroneous.