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Squeak of The Week

4 Jan

Baby Clam
bay-bee cuh-lamb
noun. 

Image

Definition:

1. Vagina.

2. Sacred play land of rainbows, castles, and sunshine.

3. Something everyone likes. (By everyone i mean straight boys and bad mama-jama lesbos)

Lena Please Squeak This in a Sentence:

GLADLY! – Lena

1. Get your cocktopuss away from my Baby Clam.

2. You can’t have the pearl in my little Baby Clam.

Synonyms:

1. Pink Taco:
Image 

2. Cookie
Image

3. Other Types of Food or randoms words that people like to pretend looks like a vagina but actually don’t.

 

Inner Emotion in Facial Expression

1 Dec

The only way I can explain the way I feel about this is to show you,

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This is what happens when you lull asleep in your laundry pile and your hair brush gets stuck in your wet hair without your knowledge. So I’m going to go ahead and wish myself luck in trying to untangle my hair and attempt to straighten it, yeah I know not to much hope.

Definitely something that would only happen to me.

He didn’t know who Cory Matthews was…

9 Nov

So, I have started taking random pictures of people that bother me school. This for example is “Brillo Pad Head Boy”

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He is a skinny boy, who just got a new iPhone…I know this because all he does is play with it in class, look at it, talk about it, and check the time continuously the entire hour class. This boy also likes to “chit-chat” with the quartet of girls he probably went to high school with, ******NOTE: this group of girls I’m sure didn’t pay him any mind in high school but now all they have is each other and there are NO decent looking boy in our class… So Brillo Pad Head Boy is the last resort. Not that they seek him out, but he always weasels his way into their conversations about boys or nail polish or what ever their mindless chatter is about.

NOTE: OF THE NOTE: we are all in a History of the Holocaust class…the class in which I am typing this post. There is not point in paying attention because my professor makes joke in Yiddish the entire class…. fact is: I don’t speak Yiddish. So here we are.

Back to my point…yesterday I had ended up sitting behind the

gigglers

and Brillo Pad Head Boy which lead to my mild observation of this boys head, his head looks like a peanut covered in Brillo pads…so my brain took a quick trip to my memory bank, and BOOM!

C O R Y M A T T H E W S
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And being the big mouth that I am ever so proud to be, I made it a point to let him know and it went a little something like this:

Squeaks-

(tap on the shoulder, followed by comment)you look like Cory Matthews…

Brillo Pad Head Boy

(turns slowly with questioning look on his face)Who is Cory Matthews?

Ummm excuse me?! Did you I’ve in a cup holder in a airplane that drown in the red sea 49 years ago? Everyone knows who Cory Matthews is. He was the star of Boy Meets World! Even black people watched boy meet world in the 90’s, c’monnnn you have to be kidding me. Everyone loves that show. FACT

That is all…squeak on.

Squeak of the Week!

3 Nov

Glitter Boom!

[guh-li-tur Buh-oo-muh]
n. v. 

Definition:
1. Something you say after you do something really fluffin’ awesome
2. Phrase you say after you just made someone look stupid in a way that makes you look awesome!
***good substitute for “Boom…Roasted”
3. Something you say just to be super coolio…

Lena please squeak that in a sentence! Surely!

1. I just had a screaming match with a tranny over how they had vagina envy, Glitter Boom!

2. Wow, how big is your vagina bro? Glitter Boom!

3. (walks into a room, in a super sweet outfit) Glitter Boom, I’m here!

A compliment…is a compliment

13 Oct

The story goes a little like this:
I am sitting in my Nazi/Holocaust class…(a whole other story)
And I get a tap on my shoulder…causing me to turn around and see a boy sitting behind me…
Now this was not just some regular boy, this boy had an index card. And on that index card which was handed to me…along with a wink was this:

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Now, a compliment is a complement and being the somewhat nice person I think I am… I said thank you. But since who am I kidding I’m a complete asshole I had this face on…

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In my defense…

COME BRO, you are not good looking by any stretch of the imagination and your in college handing me a note saying I’m cute.

this is not kindergarten. don’t get me wrong i wish it was but it’s fucking not.

So as a result of my pure asshole-ness I proceeded to mass text a picture of this index card to everyone I know and tried —–>key word being “Tried” to chokke back my laughter.

we are who we are.

12 Oct

                                                               This is my Mother (Kim Marie) for you.

I guess you can say I get it from her…But then again what exactly is “it”. I would say it’s Honesty. And “Honesty is the best Policy.” Its true ask your mother.

Let’s be “Honest”: My mother has great tits.
(not a lie, no sarcasam included)
((no sarcasm included in no sarcasm being included))

 

Stay Tuned for more interesting facts about the most intersting Hot Mess in my life…
And I mean Hot Mess in the most sincerest of ways Mother Dear (:

Like I Said…

12 Oct

She’s a GOD DAMN sex panther.
but i am sure you don’t mind a refresher