Letters of Shame.

24 Jul


Dear Shirley Temple,

By Shirley Temple I mean the drink that I added vodka to like a genius and not the little curly headed tap dancing sensation of the old days. (side note : is Shirley Temple still alive?! ). Anyways…Shirley I have officially butchered you. It was selfish of me and I am sorry because you Shirley are one of my most favored childhood treats. You went from being my favorite drink in the world to a cunty bitch that my liver and my stomach with foreveer hate. Not to my mention my poor mouth. I’m sure it will forever miss the 6 cherries I ask for one the side of you ( so I don’t have to fish them out of the bottom ). Honestly though I don’t know who is more at fault you or the all inclusive hotel in Dominican Repulic. Either way you and I are not longer friends due to my terrible hangover that followed my long night of successful #WHITEGIRLWASTED and almost #FATGIRLWASTED state. One day I hope you can forgive me for hating you so much and abusing you until I hated you. The death of my love for you is truly tragic but if you ever show your bitchy face near me again I’m going to scream and projectile vomit all over your face. Or in your cup … You know what I mean. One day I do hope to be able to be with you again and have you inside me but I fear that day will be in the very distant future. And for this I am forever sorry, and i will miss you terribly and I hope that knowing at is enough for you to take me back one day and fill the void I have created between us.

Squeaked with Love,

Shirley Temple : 20110724-063322.jpg
-1/2 cup of Sprite
-1/2 cup of Orange Juice (not soda)
– Add as much Grenadine and Marachino Cherries as humanly possible


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