Jellies: long term suffering and acceptance from society.

10 Jun

Description:  Cute plastic sandals, normally stappy,
translucent, somethings glitter and sparkle infused, colorful,
uncomfortable, overly desirable.

Dear Society,
 please think about the amount of pressure you have thrusted upon females (and little gay boys), of all ages by making these glorious shoes.  How could we not love the glitzy, glammy, colorful, exciting works of art that “Jellies” are.  We are girls. WE EAT THIS SHIT UP! It’s in our nature.  And as far as I can tell they are NOT going out of style I have been rocking these bad bitch shoes for  15 year AT LEAST! I love them they call my name from store windows. “Wear Me”, “Love Me”, “YOU NEED ME”. Seriously I can’t get enough. We get it they are amazing. You know you wore these shoes, HOW COULD YOU NOT!

They fucking hurt like a million little porcupines with razor spikes &
riffle nipples running free under your GOD DAMN FEET.

  • One: Satan himself must be a flamming homosexual, that HATES women, he must be the designer.
  • Two: They are plastic, which means your feet will sweat, and rub against the plastic giving you DEMON BLISTERS!
  • Three: No arch support (dooming anyone that wears them into orthodics.)
  • Four: You will continue to wear them through sweat and tears and bandaids, because they are so FUCKING CUTE.

So Society, here is the big F U for expecting girls to wear these amazing yet stupid fucking shoes to make our feet look like little rays of god damn sunshine with gumdrops on the side. Keep pumping this shit out in retail stores and just wait for the next generation to be born foot less. FUTURE NUBBERS OF THE WORLD UNITE!

Thanks & Fuck Off,
Squeaks ❤ 


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