Asian Porn Star Barbie

5 Jan

Hi. You are asian. Its 1t degrees outside. You are wearing leopard open toe shoes taller than me when I was 7. Again you are asian. So why is your hair bleach blonde and hot pink?   

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Why?

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Squeak of The Week

4 Jan

Baby Clam
bay-bee cuh-lamb
noun. 

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Definition:

1. Vagina.

2. Sacred play land of rainbows, castles, and sunshine.

3. Something everyone likes. (By everyone i mean straight boys and bad mama-jama lesbos)

Lena Please Squeak This in a Sentence:

GLADLY! – Lena

1. Get your cocktopuss away from my Baby Clam.

2. You can’t have the pearl in my little Baby Clam.

Synonyms:

1. Pink Taco:
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2. Cookie
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3. Other Types of Food or randoms words that people like to pretend looks like a vagina but actually don’t.

 

Inner Emotion in Facial Expression

1 Dec

The only way I can explain the way I feel about this is to show you,

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This is what happens when you lull asleep in your laundry pile and your hair brush gets stuck in your wet hair without your knowledge. So I’m going to go ahead and wish myself luck in trying to untangle my hair and attempt to straighten it, yeah I know not to much hope.

Definitely something that would only happen to me.

Excuse me, what color is your hair exactly?

1 Dec

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Oh hello there! Here we are again in my ever so boring class, where I’m absolutely convinced that my professor is making shit up.

side note: it’s a class about the holocaust, and its the last week of class and we a just not discussing e holocaust. What the fluff!

Any Hoooo…this delight is sitting in front of me I just so happened to be blinded by the worst dye job I have ever seen. It looks like a pumpkin and a pile of dog shit got into a fist fight in the back room of a salon and her hair dresser was to busy snorting lines of a her blondor (bleach powder) off of her stripper co workers ass cheek.

Dear Classmate, why are you so cruel. Presenting yourself in public with this disgrace of dye job is just plain rude and harmful to the eyes of everyone that unfortunately has to look at you.

MAKE IT STOP, and if you weren’t such a poor example of a human I would have to bitch squeak about you. Boom!

Priority mail. #boom

18 Nov

I have decided to do something that made me happy today…take FREE stickers from the post office…write something nice, post it here, share your thoughts, be excited!

boom.

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Squeak of the Week

10 Nov

Dirt Squirrel
dur-tuh sk-whirl
adj. n.

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1. When someone looks like they haven’t showered

2. When someone is dressed like a hotmess.

3. Someone that lives in a trailer, has no teeth, and is sleeping with their sister/brother

Lena please squeak that in a sentence.

1.”wow, I just left my strip tease work out class and i feel like a dirt squirrel!”

2. “well, I’m in Walmart….it’s two a.m. But I was in a craft binge so I decided to Mae glitter bobby pins but I’m waiting line behind a women that is picking her four years thong out of her ass because she had a wedgie, the kid is a total dirt squirrel”

He didn’t know who Cory Matthews was…

9 Nov

So, I have started taking random pictures of people that bother me school. This for example is “Brillo Pad Head Boy”

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He is a skinny boy, who just got a new iPhone…I know this because all he does is play with it in class, look at it, talk about it, and check the time continuously the entire hour class. This boy also likes to “chit-chat” with the quartet of girls he probably went to high school with, ******NOTE: this group of girls I’m sure didn’t pay him any mind in high school but now all they have is each other and there are NO decent looking boy in our class… So Brillo Pad Head Boy is the last resort. Not that they seek him out, but he always weasels his way into their conversations about boys or nail polish or what ever their mindless chatter is about.

NOTE: OF THE NOTE: we are all in a History of the Holocaust class…the class in which I am typing this post. There is not point in paying attention because my professor makes joke in Yiddish the entire class…. fact is: I don’t speak Yiddish. So here we are.

Back to my point…yesterday I had ended up sitting behind the

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and Brillo Pad Head Boy which lead to my mild observation of this boys head, his head looks like a peanut covered in Brillo pads…so my brain took a quick trip to my memory bank, and BOOM!

C O R Y M A T T H E W S
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And being the big mouth that I am ever so proud to be, I made it a point to let him know and it went a little something like this:

Squeaks-

(tap on the shoulder, followed by comment)you look like Cory Matthews…

Brillo Pad Head Boy

(turns slowly with questioning look on his face)Who is Cory Matthews?

Ummm excuse me?! Did you I’ve in a cup holder in a airplane that drown in the red sea 49 years ago? Everyone knows who Cory Matthews is. He was the star of Boy Meets World! Even black people watched boy meet world in the 90’s, c’monnnn you have to be kidding me. Everyone loves that show. FACT

That is all…squeak on.